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Weird Homeschooler

That's a term I've heard a lot growing up.  It's usually been followed with "...but don't worry, you're not weird".  The truth is, I was.  Correction...I am.  Growing up, I faught tooth and nail with my mom over the fact that they chose to pull me out of public school and made me stay at home.  Couldn't she and my dad understand the horrible mistake they were making?!


I wanted to be with my friends, act in plays, go to dances, have a boyfriend, wear school colors, be voted the "best of...".  I wanted to look like my friends, act, dress, eat, talk, feel, and live like my friends. I desperately wanted to be normal...and that was simply something that was not allowed in our home.  If I heard it once, I heard it a hundred times, "We aren't raising you girls to be average.  We're raising you to be leaders".  But, I didn't want to be a leader.  I didn't want to take the chance of stepping out, of being different...of being weird.


But a few weekends ago, something about that changed.  I was setting up a desk for my office, and as I was sitting in the garage, painting, a thought struck me.  The truth is,  having your own business is A LOT like homeschooling. You succeed or fail by your own work ethic, motivation, and discipline.  Now, let me say...this is pretty terrifying to me as I was not the most self motivated student!!! But as I sat their painting my desk, I wished I could tell my mom something I never told her before...so I thought this was as good of place as any to say this...

Dear Mommy,
I wish I could look into your eyes and say this, because you deserve to hear it...after all these years. But I'm too late for that, so if it means anything at all to you in heaven, I just wanted to say that you were right all along.  Any doubt I may have put in your mind, every battle that we fought on this...you were right and I was wrong.  When all I could see was the rejection of the world, you were giving me the gift of being unique.  When all I wanted to do was get lost in a crowd, you were training my "life muscles" to stand when you were gone.  When all I wanted to be was normal, you were teaching me the value of being weird...because no one makes an impact that lasts without being just a little weird. There's been very little about my life that would be counted as "normal"...and I have you to thank for that.  Thanks for giving your girls the opportunity to be "weird homeschoolers", and all the sacrifices you made so I could know it's good to be different.


I love you.

13 comments:

Jami said...

oh tam - this is beautiful. your mom would be so very proud of you. i love you! and i loved her so much too!

smw said...

very sweet. it's comforting to know, as a mom, that some of the battles we fight over and over will be worth it, even to our kids, someday. :)

heidi said...

love the post Tam...I do wish she could see us today and either be proud, or tell me what area I need work on and encourage me to do better.

leah said...

oh man, i love this...i've have loved getting to know your mom through you and your family...

one very special lady...just like you!

Sarah said...

LOVED this post. The first part was absolutely hilarious!!! The pics are so funny! Confession: the other weekend I was looking through some of your old photo albums in the basement and told Leah that some of those pics would be GREAT for Tami's blog. Low and behold...Here they are!

That last part to your mom was so beautiful...thanks for sharing.

~Love,
a fellow weird homeschooler :)

Kait H. said...

i secretly always wanted to be homeschooled. I wanted to wake up when i wanted and teach myself math the way i thought it should be taught! :) i had hot lunch every day of my life and i always wanted homemade lunches.. schools really not all its cracked out to be.. especially when you have to wear uniforms.. u got to do homework in pj's :)
loved this about your mom it was so sweet, and encouraging.
love you tam!
ur mom would be so proud.

Rebekah said...

i have no doubt that mommy would be proud of this new step you are taking. she would be dreaming bigger dreams than you can imagine...as always, she was pushing the bar higher.

this was such a great post.

Kirk and Keri Plattner said...

Your mom raised three beautiful extraordinary girls!

jessica leman said...

I love that you shared this with us :) What a special letter to her. She was such a wise woman and you girls are so very blessed to have her blood running through your veins!!
The picture at the end just caught me off guard and I couldnt help but cry. She would be so proud of all of you. Love you friend!

Jill said...

Precious post Tami. I love the first picture. You girls are so stinking cute! One thing I am learning as an adult is how thankful I am for my parents too. It must come with age and a little humility.

You love JESUS and that is the greatest gift any parent could ever ask for!

I love you Tam!
Jill

Anonymous said...

Tami~
So I am sitting here at work about in tears. What a thoughtful post to your mom. I loved her so much and I love you so much too!
She would be so proud of you...proud of all three of you. Lots of my BEST childhood memories center around your family, and the closeness my family had to yours. I was just telling Benji the other day about when I met you in Sunday School.
Hindsight is definitely 20/20. I too thought my mom had no idea about things sometimes. And now looking back...she knew alot more than I gave her credit for. Knowing you feel this way too, makes it a little less regretful on my part that I never got to tell my mom she was right. I feel like somehow though in a way beyond my comprehesion that they both know we are doing well and proud of the choices we are making. Love you so much Tami!
Sunita

Abi said...

Tami,

I read this post yesterday and just cried! You have such a knack for putting your feelings into words and it is beautiful. I never really did know your mom although I had met her several times. From what I remember, she was a really fun person and you, obviously, are a better person because of her! I have no doubt that she would be proud of you...you do amazing work!

Love ya,
Abi

Oh, and I've never really thought of you as that much of a nerd...;)

Rachel said...

Tami, I loved reading your post and agree that "no one makes an impact that lasts without being a little weird". I am completely in love with a homeschooler and all of his "weirdness". :)

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