Late Night Conversations

Just in case you ever need to call and get an insurance quote, here are a list of things NOT to do:

10. Take a bath while obtaining the quote and then ask for the rep to hold while you get out and go to the toilet.

9. When the rep tells you the premium is going to be $80 a month, respond with, "I'll give you $70".

8. Think it's going to be a real turn on when you've just revealed that you're in your 40's, still living with your parents, driving their car, and then ask the rep if she'd be interested in going on a date.

7. Fall asleep while giving your bank account information.

6. Start the conversation with, "Well, you %*#!@ people keep sending me stuff in the mail so I thought I'd call to see if you can beat who I'm with now. You probably can't, but I'll let you try"

5. Ask the rep to prove they actually work for an insurance company.

I'm pretty sure YOU looked up the number and called ME.

4. Get the 1-800 number confused with a 1-900 number.

3. If the rep tells you you're inelligible, thinking that explaining why you HAD to drink and drive is going to convince them to write you a sympathy policy.

2. When you get caught lieing, say, "I'm just going to call back in and change my story!"

Uh oh. Because we chisle everything by stone and tablet. We've never heard of anything called a mass e-mail sent to the floor giving them a head's-up.

Just sayin'.

1. If the rep tells you that you're inelligible, respond with, "Well, fine! I'm just going to take my business elsewhere!"

Exsactly.