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"No regrets."  

Right?  Isn't that how I'm supposed to live my life?   I've always had a fascination with watching interviews with famous people about their lives...and it seems that 9 times out of 10, if they're asked about regrets or if they would change anything they did in their life, they usually say something like, "No, I wouldn't change anything. I live my life with no regrets."  Trust me, I understand the overall gist of what they're saying...but I can't help but feel like that general attitude marks the theme of my generation.  An attitude of pride that we don't regret mistakes we've made...and I don't know about you, but I've made more than I could ever recount.

When I was in high school, I had a bad attitude...no wait.  Let's be honest, I had a horrible attitude...and I showed it.  I was a brat of a daughter in many areas...and my Mom bore the brunt of it.  If I were to name the worst of who I've ever been...it was those days.  When my mom passed away, I remember bringing that up to a close family friend and she said, "Tami, you can't think about it.  You can't live with any regrets...your mom wouldn't want you to."  

However, I couldn't let it go.  I just couldn't.  To not regret it...meant to not change from it.  That's when I realized that I didn't want to live without regrets but instead, live with as little regret as I could...but that meant acknowledging the mistakes I've made and letting myself remember them.  I find a lot of value in letting myself feel regret enough to motivate me towards change.  I hate that feeling...I really really do.  I'd rather just not let myself go there...but if I know that I don't want to revisit it in my memory, I know for certain that I don't want to revisit it in my life.  

I've put a pin in different areas of my life where I let myself feel the regret of an action past.  Someone asked me recently about any regrets I've had. I told them about how I was towards my Mom for a period in my life, and how her death brought a terrible sting to that regret that I won't ever get over.  However, if it pushes me towards being a better daughter to my Dad, a better sister, or a better friend...I'll take that sting...and that IS something I know my mom would want.  I don't want to just fail...I want to "fail forward" (to quote Jasmine).

My mom and I always had a saying we'd say to each other or write in notes..."Faster. Higher. Stronger."  It was to remind each other to always keep pushing in life to run faster, soar higher, and grow to be stronger.  So here's to mistakes that push us forwards...

Faster. Higher. Stronger.



Rebekah said...

This is so well said...I agree about how it's an attitude of pride that won't let us admit regret. Such a good reminder to let regret spur me on to change. Thanks Tam. And ur right Mommy wouldn't have wanted us to just wallow in our regrets...she would want us to do what you did...to use it as a catalyst to run faster, higher , stronger! Man I miss her

Ashlee said...

Tam, I am so blessed by you. :) It's so amazing to see how the Lord is working in your life, even in hardships. Miss you lots & lots! xoxox

alisonsutter said...

Beautiful Tam. How foolish to think we should never admit our mistakes...and definitely not Christ's message to us. Thank you for sharing!

Heather said...

"Faster. Higher. Stronger." I love that!!

I think one key is to learn from your regrets, but then let them go. Don't let them weigh you down. In that way, regrets can have value.

Good things to think about. Loved the post! :)

Amanda said...

Thank you for sharing this girlie! And YES to failing forward!

Kara P. said...

Beautifully put! Although I don't like "no regrets", I never thought about why. But it does so such pride and blatent disregard of the sin in our lives. Dwelling about it is also a problem, maybe even sin...But putting a pin in it to remind ourselves to change & move forward? One of the many ways we can become more Christ like!
Miss you girl - hope you're coming to visit BP soon!

smw said...

this was SUCH a good post. thanks, tam!

jenna leigh said...

i just love you. you know that! i am proud that the lord brought us together and created a sacred friendship in which we can be the most vulnerable and honest. you know i have regrets on certain things, but i think life is about doing the best we can and moving forward. if you learn from it, it isn't really a mistake... i am so proud of you. love you! xo

Kasey said...

Well said, my wise friend! I love you and I learn so much from you!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh Tam~
This my friend is something I have struggled with for the last five years of my life too...regret towards the way I was with my mom at various points of our relationship...i finally have found peace in knowing God is able to forgive us with all of our downfalls...thanks for sharing this...love you!!

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