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What NOT to say...

Last Sunday, one of my very best friends, Kendra, got engaged! It's very exciting news...but with engagements also comes the interesting comments to the single friend.  So, from my own personal experience, I created a list of...

The Top 5 Things NOT to Say to the Single Friend/Sister of the Bride...

5. Don't worry...you'll be next!
Let me just say that this brings comfort to no one...because by time you're well on your way to the 27 dresses, this phrase tends to lose it's optimistic appeal.

4. A person fake crying like a little baby and says, "Boo hoo! Are you just wanting to cry soooo verrrrry haaaard because your friend is engaged?! Or maybe you were in love with the guy?!" followed by them laughing.
Yeah, probably the worst comment I've gotten to date.

3. You could marry John Doe (fill in with any name).  I mean, he's maybe just a little strange, not very confident, and doesn't really have any friends, but all he needs is a good woman.
Just a bit of advice, if you would have never married that situation...if you'd never let your daughter marry that situation...or if you'd never let your sister marry that situation...it's NOT a compliment to wish that upon someone else.

2. "Congratulations! When are you due?
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.

1. If it makes you feel better, my husband said he'd marry you if I die!
Uh....tell him....thank.....you?


Have a great Tuesday!

28 comments:

emilykate said...

Oh Tami, these are unbelievable! I'm definitely starting to get used to the "how are you doing with all of your friends getting married" question, but haven't been blessed by any of these idiotic comments yet.

Yet. :)

I'm sure you're a much better sport than I would be.

arlan and katie said...

Ah, Tams...gotta love your honesty!
Those comments do get old, don't they?!

How about, "There's so many fish in the sea, I'm positive there's one out there for you!"...hmm, me? a fish? I'll pass...analogies with myself & fish just aren't very comforting!

love ya girl...guess what? we sold our house! get your packing gloves on my friend!

Jon y Amy said...

Gasp! I cannot believe some of those comments! It made me laugh in a cringing sort of way. :)

Klint & Sarah said...

OH MY WORD!!!! LOL!

As sad as it is that people would actually say these to you, this was a really funny post (especially your comentary under each one!)

(loved Em's comment too.)

Matt & Bekah said...

I soooo understand your feelings on this! The "you'll be next" one is a classic. My uncle once said, "The next time you see that same person at a funeral viewing, tell them "maybe you'll be next!" (okay, a little over the top, but it does reflect one's similar feelings about the comment!)

Kristen said...

Tami - thank you for looking out for single women everywhere! I may be sending a link to your blog to a few people over the next several months. ;)

Rebekah said...

This is such a classic Tami post! You are so kind to let #4 remain nameless. I still want to sock him when I think about how incredibly inappropriate it was.

please stuff a sock or anything large enough to stop my voice if you EVER hear me saying one of these to someone single!!

vballsetter said...

These are hysterical and true!
Your commentary is great.

Amber said...

The good news is you can laugh about them. I'm convinced some people don't think before they speak . . .or even after.

Like the person who AFTER I had the twins asked me "So when are they due . . . ?" Quality question to ask a lady trying to lose her twin baby weight. ;)

I actually kind of like the funeral comment suggested . . .. : )

Laura L. said...

That's nuts. It truly exemplifies the expression "Better to be quiet and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

I have one to add from my single days..."Don't worry about it Laura, God and I are working on it." We are very happy for Kendra and Doug. Thanks for sharing, it made me laugh.

Mindy said...

I can NOT believe those comments were actually made to you! People really just don't think, do they?!

M Photo Contests said...

Next time a reply to a not being married comment ....

"I would much rather want something I don't have, than have something I don't want" :-)

M Photo Contests said...

BTW- I cannot take credit for that quote, it came from someone older and wiser than me :)

sarah said...

Ugh! I completely understand the annoyingness of it all!!

Kait H. said...

hahha tam who are these scallywags! i need to give a swift punch to the gut. haha you can garuntee you will be married before me! :) love you!

Amanda said...

I am lying here with no voice... Laughing out loud. It is unbelievable and appalling the things people think are appropriate to say. Sometimes better to say nothing at all...

P.S. Number 1 was my favorite...

Ben Luginbuhl said...

Tami, it's nice you can laugh at these and post them. I am appalled - especially #4. People are ridiculous. We had someone tell us when Kristy got pregnant with Cole (while I was there holding Cade) "Now you can have a REAL baby!" Sheesh!

Pam said...

It's appalling how thoughtless some people are. I thought I'd heard all of them in my single days, but that #4 is over the top! What an idiot!!

Love you, Tami. I've been there and understand how the comments make you feel.

Aunt Pam

Brooke said...

are you KIDDING- these are REAL? Oh Tami. People do not think. And I'm sure you are far too full of grace in response to the idiotic statements. Love you!

Tami said...

These comments are hilarious!! I love all the suggestions of things to say...too bad I'm not witty enough to think of things like that on the spot! I know that most people mean well, and somehow it gets scrambled in the delivery!
Bek, I thought it was best to keep #4's identity a secret...for his own saftey's sake! Wow...probably the one person that really didn't mean well.
Amb, girl, I can feel your pain! Bek was 8 months pregnant when Heidi was announced and so when someone congratulated me, I thought it was 'cause they thought I was Heidi, only to find out they thought I was pregnant! Not the brightest moment in my memory. :)
Oh Ben...there's just really no excuse for that comment! I thought it was hilarious to hear you and Kristy talk about the crazy comments you've gotten. I always say I should make a bathroom reader, and we could have a chapter entitled, "Things not to say..." and have a bunch of different situations. :)
You are all sweet, and honestly, these all (with the exception of #4) made me laugh! There was so much more to the backstory of #4 that make that comment so much more terrible. If I see you someday, you can ask me! :)

Amber said...

I'm still gasping at Ben & Kristy's comment too . . . .

heidi said...

Tam, I can't believe you didn't post the one where the lady asked, 'I can't believe you girls are still single...how many proposals have you turned down?'...especially since we were pretty much babies in/just out of high school.

leah said...

i can't wait to hear each of these stories live! where are you? get home and give me the scoop!

SO outrageous!

anknapp2 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenna said...

These cracked me up. I'm sorry people have said these things to you. Seriously, I've been contemplating writing a list of this for pregnancy too. I'm amazed at what people say in order to make me (you), "feel better."

If I hear, "geesh, you have that long left?" or "man it looks like your going to pop" one more time, I'm going to start throwing punches. :)

smw said...

i'm glad to hear a little of the story to number four. i just didn't get it at all. (not that the story makes it any better). i'll have to hear it all from you next time we're together. :)

Carmen O. said...

You CAN'T be serious!!!

T and M said...

Tami, I've been following your blog for photo ideas, & this post came just in time to share with my 2 single sistas right before my bro's wedding last weekend! we spent our time serving cake at the dessert table cackling about all the comments they were getting ( :

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